Dolphins face worst season ever with 1-16 outlook

Nightcaps is your daily stop for the biggest sports, news and culture stories you missed while pretending to work at a desk. It runs Monday through Friday on OutKick.com.

Wow, the Dolphins are really bad. We aren't talking about the usual Miami levels of mediocrity. We are talking 1–15 bad, à la 2007. Except this time it will be 1-16 if they squeak out that one win at all. I am at peace with it though. As a lifelong Dolphins fan, I am accustomed to sadness and misery. That happens because every year when Week 1 rolls around, despite knowing better, I delude myself into thinking "this season will be better!" I look like Amy Klobuchar wearing the same dumb shirt and the same goofy grin. This year, I have no such delusions. Every week, I fully understand the team will perform worse than that HYROX chick. Only this time, instead of a quarterback who gets concussed every other week, we have one who runs fast and wears rhinestone cleats. Ah, the serenity of low expectations. I am as carefree as Bo Nix. So with that, let's get to our Tuesday Nightcaps, featuring Trinity Rodman, Ella Langley and Aryna Sabalenka. And there will be nothing about Sydney Sweeney, Holly Rowe or Arch Manning. Because I'm tired of hearing about all of them. Let's roll.

Some people really don't like Ella Langley. I've heard a multitude of reasons for this: She cut a song with Morgan Wallen. She followed Charlie Kirk on TikTok. She got some lip filler. She's allegedly MAGA. The real reason is probably because "Choosin' Texas" has spent a bazillion weeks at No. 1, and a good chunk of our population just likes to hate on people who are successful. But now, the miserable souls of the interweb have found a new reason to smear the good name of Ella Langley, she's a hunter! Some folks with too much time on their hands dug up some old photos of Ella showing off bucks she harvested in her home state of Alabama. I love how that second post said she'd been "caught" hunting animals. As if Ella didn't pose for that photo and post it on her own social media account. Damn, you really busted her! Let's see what the comments are saying. Very sane people over there on the Twitter machine.

As the founding mother of OutKick OutDoors, I'm obviously pro (legal and humane) hunting and fishing. And I won't bore you with all the reasons why hunting, particularly whitetail deer hunting, is crucial for conservation, preventing the spread of disease, and funding for the protection of wildlife and their habitats. I encourage you to do your own research if you're interested in learning more. Jordan Davis faces fan backlash over Hawaii axis deer hunt despite strong conservation backing. I also have no problem with people who choose not to hunt or choose not to eat meat. That's absolutely your prerogative. But I guarantee at least 99% of the people screeching at Ella right now have no problem stopping by the Taco Bell drive-thru or picking up a pack of chicken at the grocery store. But harvesting your own fresh venison apparently makes you evil. Spare me the outrage, losers.

Trinity Rodman is a world-class soccer player for the USWNT. But she's also a tennis WAG. So while her boyfriend, Ben Shelton, competed in the US Open the past couple of weeks, Trinity was in the stands supporting him. Unfortunately for Trinity (and America), Shelton lost to Germany's Alexander Zverev in the men's final. That's after she played a soccer game in Washington, D.C. on the same day and then rushed 200 miles to NYC to catch the end of the match. When he won, Zverev gave Trinity a shoutout. "Trinity, I thought you have a game today," Zverev joked. "Well done to you as well. You're the lucky charm ... not today, but usually." The crowd laughed. Trinity laughed.

Ben laughed at the thought of it. Then Iman Shumpert wanted to see Ben defend his lady's honor. "I ain't gonna lie, Ben," Shumpert said. "Get up in there, you gotta say something." He continued, admitting he wouldn't lie about what happened. "He just shot..." The advice came loud and clear: treat it like boxing. You need a rematch. Go get your game back, buddy. Zverev might have stolen the Grand Slam title. But I don't think she's stealing Shelton's girl. She seems pretty into him.

Let's open the mailbag. Send your thoughts, stories, tips, rants and photos of your dog to [email protected]. You can also find me on Twitter/X at @TheAmberHarding or Instagram at @amberharding.

No one cares about women's basketball...at least according to Keith H. Keith writes: No one watches Women's basketball and no one cares about whatever "tournament" is going on. The only things more boring are Women's hockey, Women's soccer, and watching paint dry. Amber responded with a sharp reality check. Folks, Keith cares so little about women's basketball that he clicked on a story about the USA women's basketball team's semifinal game against Spain. Then, he found the writer and typed out an email about how much he doesn't care. That was on a Saturday night. While college football was on. Going to such lengths suggests to me that Keith actually cares a lot about women's basketball. Listen, folks, the reason we cover so much WNBA is because our women's basketball coverage consistently performs spectacularly well in metrics like page views, search and engagement. If it didn't, we wouldn't spend so much time and energy writing about it. All of our show hosts wouldn't be talking about it. And we certainly wouldn't send a reporter all the way to Europe to cover it. We give the people what they want. And even the "hate reads" count as page views, baby.

More love for Upstate New York arrived from Brian S. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about making my first trip to the St. Lawrence River in Upstate New York. But it certainly won't be my last. Brian writes: It's not a very manly phrase, I realize, but I was tickled pink reading your reaction to the St. Lawrence River. I was born in 1969 and raised in Upstate New York. The River and 1,000 Islands have been a destination for my family since the 40's. We grew up trailer camping in the state parks there, before renting cottages once we outgrew the camper, and eventually my folks purchased a summer home in Cape Vincent, a short drive from Clayton, where you were. My now adult children looked forward to every summer stay, even though the drive from New Jersey is about 5-1/2 hours. Whenever I bring friends to the area for the first time, they all have the same reaction as you had. We may have even crossed paths last weekend, as my wife and I were there visiting for a few days, and we even checked out the Bassmasters tourney. I'm glad you were able to experience the beauty of the region, and hope you're able to visit again in the future. Amber replied that every summer, her husband and she like to retreat to Lake Superior, and the St. Lawrence area reminded her a lot of the Northwoods. There's just something so serene about the small towns around the Great Lakes. Everything's just slower there, in the best way possible.

Who cares what Aryna Sabalenka is wearing? Lucia writes: May I ask why the uproar over Sabalenka's choice of tennis attire, but I hear nothing about Osaka's abysmal fashion choices. First, let's ask why she needs an entrance 'outfit'? They definitely say 'look at me', but I don't see them as making much of a statement about her tennis skills. Secondly, Osaka's court wear yesterday could have very easily been made out of the Hefty Bags referenced in your article. With that said, I'm not a fan of Sabalenka's attire either. Nike should be embarrassed they put their 'swoosh' on the fishnet.

Amber noted that while contractual duties exist, she and her management should have stood their ground on the fashion statement. She questioned why tennis players feel compelled to wear non-traditional kits now.

To be fair, I have seen plenty of people poke fun at Osaka's wild get-ups. The entrance outfit and these new uniforms are just part of current tennis culture. It is like NFL or NBA players playing dress-up just to walk from their cars into the stadium on game day. Sabalenka's mesh kit wasn't my favorite either, but it got us talking. And that was probably Nike's goal.

South Park returns tomorrow with a twist they are calling South America. This mocks Trump's renaming of the Gulf of Mexico and Lake Ontario. My fellow super fans will likely agree that last season was the worst one yet. No, not because they made fun of Trump. They made fun of Trump for five whole seasons when they had an orange-faced Mr. Garrison acting as President of the United States. The difference is that those seasons were original, funny and clever. This past season was none of those things. It was just Trump having a butt baby with Satan and the same small d, joke over and over again. We get it. Even my liberal friends said, Can we please go back to the actual characters of South Park? But naturally Hollywood loved it. So Trey Parker and Matt Stone were awarded their first Emmy.

And you know what? Cool. That's the kind of satire they should be doing. Judging by the trailer, this time it is actually going to be about the boys. Fingers crossed this season won't just be another giant turd sandwich. You sold out and got your Emmy, Matt and Trey. Now please go back to being funny.